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Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
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Your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours and I starve... I STARVE FOR YOU!
This new diet is liquid and dulling to the senses and it's crude but it will do.
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Drinking our tea tucked in the bed sheets I'll dream in melody!
I wanted to say to you, we've come a long, long way there's so much to say still have a long, long way.
I'll see you soon under the moonlight.
Practice tomorrow. Stoked.
Blazers tomorrow. Stoked (they better win!)
I feel sleepy but bored excited but frustrated positive but pessimistic. shit. balls. fuck.
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Sunday, December 6th, 2009
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Greg Oden of the Trailblazers fractures his knee and will likely miss the rest of the season.
This really bums me out. He's already missed his full rookie season and half of last season due to injuries. Now this comes at a time when he has improved so much and has been playing his best. Now he's one of four injured Blazers. Definitely a huge kick to the stomach for the team.
Something good has to better come of this.
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Thursday, November 26th, 2009
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Well it's official. My car has expired. The transmission lost first and third gear.
I need to take out my stereo and speakers and kiss it goodbye.
I'm actually pretty upset... Unless I was out of town, I think I drove that car every single day for the past four years. And I love(d) it. We've been so many places and seen so many things! Her and I... I never had a name for it but for some reason I imagine it as a girl. Maybe it's just like how all boats are girls... or something.
Soooo laaaame!
P.S. Anthony Green sucks.
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Friday, November 13th, 2009
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I don't believe that there is any system set up to abortion bad luck. It chooses a man from a lineup at random and feeds on his soul day and night.
Well it takes some nerve to assume that unlucky soul could be you, so I'll just keep those thoughts to myself.
________ What does a saint do with his time when outside of god's lazy eye?
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Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
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hmm... what to say...
I don't know why it's so hard to find a new job. I need money! Dammit!
Alter the Ending (Acoustic) > Alter the Ending (Full Band)
I'm really liking the new band, whatever we're called... It's nice getting closer with Jeff and Dan. Good dudes. I wish we could practice every other day. I just need to play all the time.
I got a fraudulent check in the mail for $3,500. oh, how badly I wished it was real. There would've been new equipment galore!
____________ I'll see death before I see any rest, and maybe that's the way it should be.
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Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
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Life is fucking dull right now. Obviously, losing your job and not having any money takes its toll. But even if I did, I never have enough to keep up with everything.
The new band doesn't practice nearly enough.
Is it sad that all I want to do is play music, and when I'm not playing, all I wanna do is sleep?
Nevermind, yes, it's really sad. But it's true. It doesn't help that it just hasn't worked out for so long. But I'm hopeful for this new project.
Currently listening to blueturnswhite... memories galore.
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Thursday, October 29th, 2009
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You may find this cheesy but you can suck it.
Copeland announced they will be disbanding after a farewell tour in Spring.
This is a huge letdown for me because they have been one of my favorite bands for so long, and have been extremely influential for me musically. Also, I know it's kind of a cliche to say "this album/this band has gotten me through tough times," but it's very true in the case of their album, Beneath Medicine Tree, which I can actually relate to a lot. That album has been and will always be one of my favorites of all time.
"There's an angel by your hospital bed, desperate to hear his name on your breath. As he looks down, you're not making a sound. Open your eyes, look at me. I'll bring to you whatever you need. and I'll tell you I'm sorry that I can't take this pain away from you and put it on my own body."
I remember the first time I saw them. I was 16 and it was at the old OLD Meow Meow. For the old school show goers/players, you should remember that place. Not the building that was B-Complex then Meow Meow then Loveland, and now Rotture... but the venue that was up three flights of stairs, in a tiny room with no air conditioning, that got unbearably hot and sweaty. Copeland was opening for The Early November. I can remember that show, and many things that were said, so vividly. As big as The Early November and Copeland got, it's weird to remember that there were only maybe 60 people at the show.
"Sleep now, moon. I'll watch over her while the sun is up and you'll have her eyes again soon."
I'm just really bummed out that I won't have another album or show (after the farewell tour) to look forward to. But I will always have the entire discography to listen to, probably forever. So, thank you, Copeland; for all the bad times, for all the good times, for all your incredible music, for your incredible performances, and for many, many night drive sing-alongs.
"It's been a long two years. It's time to smile, we've made it this far just like you said we would."

"Everybody knows that you'd break your neck to keep your chin up."

"Just let me run where I want to run. Just let me love who I want."
R.I.P.
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Monday, October 26th, 2009
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Happy Birthday to Nick Sisouphanh (yesterday) you know someone is having a good birthday when they throw up all over their own car.
Practice tomorrow with the new band/project/thing. I'm really liking what we're coming up with so far.
And I'm really loving the weather as of late.
________ I saw your face shine like the sun and glow I thought I let this go...
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Monday, October 19th, 2009
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I have nothing. Literally, nothing, nada, zip... no mas.
I realized I've had nothing for quite a while. I don't even remember it. And it's not like it gradually went away. Suddenly, everything was just gone.
For all the optimists; for all the people rolling their eyes; I don't need your self righteousness. I actually try harder than you might think. Maybe this is just how it goes.
I believe that a lot of people do not deserve what they have. I believe that some people deserve a lot more. There will always be someone who would appreciate what someone else has much more. Obviously, this is a completely unfair world. But I wonder... could there be a year, a month, a week... where the pros out-weigh the cons?
I really don't know what I came here to say... /wordvomit
Going to sleep isn't easy for me cause I'm unsatisfied. All my mistakes leave a lot of time to waste.
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Saturday, October 17th, 2009
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Chills every time I see Lydia.
I'm excited I got to see Straylight Run, too. Somehow I had never seen them before. They were awesome.
The only bummer was TECH N9NE and their fans across the street. Ugh
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Thursday, October 15th, 2009
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It's been so long but finally playing in a full band again is so nice.
It's not my first choice but it's really fun stuff.
_____ tell me what you think of the atmosphere and all those months inside my head. well do you really believe in me?
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Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
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blah blah blah
Lost my job... again On the hunt... again No money... again, especially when I need it most Completely fucked... again Starting over... again
Will things work out again ever?
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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Friday, October 2nd, 2009
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The smartest thing that Lights has ever said (lyric-wise):
"Seems like the more you grow, the more time you spend alone before you know it, you end up perfectly on your own the city's shining bright, but you don't see the light how come you concentrate on things that don't make you feel right?"
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Saturday, September 26th, 2009
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I usually don't post any lyrics/songs on my livejournal but this one seemed very... livejournal-esque? I have a few more on blogger if anyone cares.
This one is called "Pleasantries"
I'm thirsty for a fresh start, I'm hungry for a new heart I'm so lost on the inside I'm longing for a quick spin, been craving for some new skin you'd hate even my good side
I'm dying for a new place, I'm desperate for a fresh taste I need out to start anew I'm starving for some new eyes, been cutting all my old ties you'll hate knowing I changed you
I'm dressing in my best clothes, I'm speaking in such smooth tones I have plans and I have schemes I'm smiling in my new guise, I'm using all my best lines you'd fall for all my routines
Baby, you'll be fine by the time we're leaving we're playing no games, just feeling ashamed don't let my callousness ruin the evening Baby, you'll be fine
I've been spending all my free time forgetting of my past life I have thrown it to the flames you're drinking with my old friends, been spending nights in their beds I'll give someone new your old names
Darling, you're alright but it's time for leaving there's no more surprise, just living our lives don't let your jealousy ruin the evening Honey, you'll be fine
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Sunday, September 13th, 2009
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I am caught in the web of my physical self. Inescapable. My body is a prison. Skinsack of water, minerals and protein. I feel good. I feel bad. All contingent on what? Some chemicals washing over my brain? It all makes sense until I discover I have cancer. Or a bad heart. I am only a man. Death is guaranteed.
I can tell myself I can change, but I can't change what I am. Go on a diet, jog, eat more green leafy vegetables. That's nothing more than self-deception. Even the urge to do all that, where does the urge come from, let alone the ability? There are biological terms for this and there are philosophical terms for this, but the best word is "Fate." One can't change one's attitude, or height. Or mental capacity. Or skin color. Or age.
As long as you have a body, you're stuck with it. There are only two solutions to physical existence.
Art and money.
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I need out of here more than anything. Most irritating, frustrating, and confined living situation ever.
I would've been gone by now if the asshole manager at my last job wasn't such a stupid prick. And also, if my current job would stop cutting my hours and let me work full time. But after bills and gas and food I would still need a roommate, and I don't know of anyone at all.
Ugh I don't even know what else to say. I just can't take this anymore. I need something good (like noticeably good) to happen for a change.
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Thursday, September 10th, 2009
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"Rome is burning," he said as he poured himself another drink.
My birthday is Friday. 22... ehh not really sure how I feel about that.
I need to play music so badly and haven't been so close in years.
Las Vegas - 16 days and counting. Just the thought of going somewhere, anywhere...
Blow is one of the best movies ever.
________ Lay her here so she can always hear the trees calling her name and they'll wrap their roots so gently all around her frozen frame
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Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
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So close, yet so far.
I/we might have my/our very own practice space soon. 24/7. Lock and key. The whole thing. Then there should finally be no issues, but we'll see.
It always sucks having to rely on other people.
You call yourself a cowboy but you just can't let things go and sold your soul to a woman who left you for her heavenly home.
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Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
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Eight days of work in a row and I'm getting really burnt out.
but...
September 26th Las Vegas!
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